Today

Today I broke down. Literally.
Who does that sort of thing? I've always been taught to hide your fears and your tears and don't show how weak you are, rather how strong.
But there was something that just clicked in the music room when Boss was talking to me that just made me break down, but not full out sobbing, just tears.

You see, life has been very stressful lately. I know, life could always be worse... but here's what is on my plate this semester:
10 hours of work at the internship
24-25 hours of work at my job
16, no 13 hours of course work, which should be 39 hours of homework then
and last but not least, being an officer of a student group.

So... I have a lot on my plate and today everything just caught up with me. I know that no one reads these, at least I don't think, but here's what's happened in the past 2 and a half years, not including school.

I lost a grandfather due to a massive heart attack.
I lost a great grandfather due to age (it was his time, not a shocker).
I lost a grandfather due to Pancreatic cancer. And this is the one that hit home. I thought I was going to lose both grandpas at once because one was sick and one already died. Then we found the cancer on the other grandpa, and from there was the struggle...

I'm not saying that I deserve your sympathy. I truly don't want it, but this is what I need to get off my chest.

Oh, and how could I forget? I decided it wise to break up with my girlfriend of a year and 10 months due to certain issues. What have I done the past 2 months? Lied to myself, my family, and my friends by saying that I couldn't be happier. Lies, I miss her dearly and almost wish I could take her back, but don't tell anyone.

My life has been in the dumps for all of these reasons, not to mention the extra stress added by the repetitive reminders that I will have tons of money hanging over my head and I need better grades and work lots of hours...

THIS IS THE END OF IT!!!
I'm moving forward from here on out! I will be a little stressed, but I need to find an out. I cannot take it all in and hold it there forever. I'm about to explode, which is a normal thing for me, but I can't let that happen.

Dear Lord Jesus,
Help me through this rough time and show me true happiness.
Thanks,
Sean
A loving, yet undeserving server.